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That High Blood Pressure Thing

Conversation with Maiguru (my brother’s wife)

Me

Well… After the BP thing, I now run each morning. Or rather, I run on the same spot where I have stacked 2 blocks ezvitinha (bricks) to form stairs. I time myself to run 100 steps in 3 minutes. I also now only eat bananas for breakfast. I went for testing and they said my metabolic age is 47 haha.

Maiguru

Yaaaaa. You should join the gym and do lots of spinning. You’ll lose a lot of weight. I will send you a proper diet via WhatsApp.

Me

Okay. I actually have made the decision that rather than not eating the food that I love so much, I would rather change my lifestyle.

Maiguru

Isu kubasa kwedu (at my workplace) they brought in a fitness coach and she gave us an eating plan. Ya, quitting your food is difficult.

Me

I don’t think I eat too much anyway. I am just a bit sedentary. Ndodya (I eat) breakfast and then masikati (in the afternoon) I eat bananas. Then Sadza or rice manheru (in the evening). That’s it!

Maiguru

Right. You have it all wrong!

Me (After receiving the dietary plan via WhatsApp)

Mmmm… Too many goodies on the list

Maiguru

The key is to have low GI carbs. You should eat but just watch what you eat.

Me

Low gi carbs anowanikwa pai? (Where do I get the low GI carbs?)

Maiguru

For instance, have your breakfast, you should always have breakfast. Never skip breakfast. Low GI carbs are not refined. White bread is high GI (glycemic index) coz it’s refined but brown bread especially iye ine maseeds (seed loaf) is low GI.

Me

I only eat brown break. White bread bores me. (Is not very appealing to me).

Maiguru

Kana muchidya Sadza (when eating Sadza), its best to eat the risina kusvuurwa (unrefined) coz rakasvuurwa is refined.

Me

Izvo zvesadza risina kusvuurwa ngandife hangu. (If its about eating unrefined Sadza, I would rather die).

Maiguru

You get it?

Me

Chokwadi chakanaka. chisadza che black handidyi. (Let me tell the truth, I won’t eat unrefined Sadza).

Maiguru

Hahahahah. Saka hamudi kuonda (then you are not interested in losing weight). It’s healthy.

Me

But it’s not enjoyable! Where is the fun in that? I would rather switch to macaroni.

Maiguru

Dieting is not fun. Diet food is not fun. Unhealthy food is fun coz it’s addictive. Thats why it’s bad. You are distracting me. Let me finish!

Me

Haiwawo (Dismissive). Now you sound like an idiot doctor. So where is the fun in not enjoying food? kunganzi kurarama here ikoko (what kind of life would that be)?

Maiguru

Ignorance is power…!

Me

I am not really ignorant. I just don’t see the point. I believe food should be enjoyed not endured. Some of us live to eat. If I stop enjoying my meals, then what’s the point in continuing to be alive?

Maiguru

You should eat to live not the other way round.

Me

Healthy food doesn’t have to be horrendous is my point. All those people who tell us to eat chisadza cheblack havana kumbochidya ivo (People who tell us to eat unrefined Sadza have never once tasted it themselves). Let them try it for a week

Maiguru

Ah, mugaiwa unonaka wani (Sadza from unrefined mealie meal still tastes good).

Me

You have been reading too many magazines. Eat to live? ndagove tsuro here… (What am I? A Rabbit?

Maiguru

I actually like it (Unrefined Sadza)

Me

I hate it

Maiguru

Hahahahahah

Me

So, you should tell me to find alternatives. How is pasta? Or rice? Brown rice?

Maiguru

I was saying, I told my instructor that I have a strong starch craving . So she actually said I should not cut out carbs totally from my diet but I should have low GI carbs. They release energy slowly.

My body won’t reach an extent yekuita macravings (of having cravings) coz I have starch already. She said if I deprive my body of carbs the brain says “oh, we have no energy. The last time we had a burst of energy we had mashed potatoes or pizza or sadza.

That’s how you end up craving starch. So now, these high GI foods get digested quickly and release glucose into the blood stream quickly but the body quickly converts the glucose into fat so in no time the glucose in the blood is gone and it leaves a vacuum.  

And as a result you start feeling lethargic yet you’ve just eaten. And then you want more high GI foods and the cycle continues and you gain weight.

So you should eat veggies in their natural state. These are low GI foods. Avoid veggies below the ground. Those are bad except for sweet potatoes. Dont eat packaged foods, don’t eat short grained rice.

You can even have chibage (maize on the cob) in its natural state. it’s very healthy but don’t process it that’s why you should not svuura (refine) it.

And never ever eat carbs at night.

Me

Did your so called instructor tell you not to become obsessed?

Maiguru

Hahahahahahaahaha

Me

So what am I supposed to eat at night?

Maiguru

I’m not obsessed. I’m just focused.

Me

It’s not like I am terribly fat anyway. I only need to shed 8kgs?

Maiguru

8kgs is a lottttt to shed my friend. I lost 2.4 after a struggle.

Me

Well… the living is not as good in Zimbabwe so it won’t be that difficult. Fewer temptations….

Maiguru

Good luck with that. Hahahahaha. Manheru just eat meat and vegetables. No Sadza ,no rice. kuti musanzwe nzara (So you won’t feel hungry) eat lots and lots of veggies and fruits. You can have as much as possible of veggies and fruits to fill up.

Me 

Mmmm. that doesn’t sound very practical

Maiguru

I’ve sent you pics via WhatsApp of what  I have. Thats very practical. You just have lots of muriwo (vegetables) to fill up, or lots of lettuce to fill up, and lots and lots of meat. I find that cooked cabbage is very filling manheru (at night). So I eat lots of it and meat and fruits like pawpaw and I sleep

Me

Well. I like cabbage at least.

After viewing the pics of her meals

Now I feel pity for you. ndo chii ichocho? (Whats that?) Let’s hope you are not forcing vana vangu kudya izvo (let’s hope you are not forcing my brother’s children to eat that). And you are missing out on cabs. They are bad but they are needed.

Maiguru

Oh goodness! You don’t understand a single thing! Carbs are important BUT you should eat low GI carbs. That’s why vanhu vekuruzevha are healthy (that’s why people in the rural areas are healthy). They eat low GI carbs .

Me

But they are not there in your pics?

Maiguru

Butternut. Its low GI.

Me

haha. zvakazobatwa kuti low gi and it’s now a song. (Someone is now making the low GI a song).

Maiguru

You’ll never lose weight then. Dai matoenda henyu kumbare monotenga manhanga (Go to the market and buy pumpkin, chibage (green mealies), beans….

Me

We are actually very much in agreement, save for the fact yekuti (that) I don’t believe healthy living should be boring. Plus muri kuwanzisa nyama (you are having too much meat). My own dietician told me kuti (that) half of the meal should be fruits and vegetables. 1/4 should be meat. 1/4 should be cabs. 

Maiguru

Haazive (he is ignorant)

Me

I eat beans, carrots, chibage, howa, lettuce, spinach, etc. I have a whole bed of spinach in the backyard.

Maiguru

Well, I guess so.

Me

My only sin is that I was rather sedentary. As in zero exercise. As is less than 100 m walk daily.

Maiguru

Ya. Exercise coupled with the diet should do the trick.

Me

I am supposed to eat 2000 calories per day. I am currently at 3500, according to tests. So I guess I need to have smaller portions.  

Problem is kana ndikaswera nenzara I feel like I have to eat zimukonde resadza. (If I spend the day without eating anything, I end up feeling like eating a pile of Sadza).

Maiguru

Exactly, that’s where the low GI carbs come in. They carry you through for a longer period.  What time do you work out.

Me

Early in the morning.

Maiguru

Same here. But I tried manheru after work and I realised kuti I feel better and  i don’t eat too much in the evening after working out.

Me

But mine are rather rudimentary. I need to up the ante.

Maiguru

Join the gym

Me

I don’t see one nearby. Again, you think Zimbabwe is South Africa? Here we eat what we get and we exercise however we can.

Maiguru

Hahahahahaah. Kunyepa (you are lying). Zimbabwe ndiyo ine mavegies manje (Zimbabwe has lots of vegetable). 

Mukaenda pamusika (If you go to the market) you get all sorts of veggies there. And there are gyms mudzimba dzevanhu (in people’s houses). Artwel aienda kugym kup? (Which gym did Artwel attend?) And mavegies pamusika akacheapa futi (vegetables are very cheap at Mbare Musika market).

One Comment

  1. Foodie Foodie December 14, 2017

    How enlightening. I must say, I agree with Maiguru.

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